2014: Not the Year I Was Hoping For

Well, 2014 didn't turn out the way I thought it was going to at all! My list of items to get accomplished, my weight goals, my personal goals...they were all over the place. It's crazy how you can have this plan...you can be so focused, and then life happens. You get busy, you lose focus, or you start focusing on other things. You realize what you thought was important, isn't really that important (maybe for a moment, but not for a life time). You know what 2014 turned out to be for me...happy. Not "check off a list of things to do" happy... but truly, honestly, deeply happy. 

This was my bucket list and you know what happened to it...it changed. It changed because I wrote it when I thought doing a bunch of fun things and having a lot of material things, would make me happy or fill a void. I've made a few adjustments to it, still keeping the items that mean something to me, and things I want to say I did before I die...but it's focus has changed a bit:

1. Write a Book
2. Go to Ireland
3. Go to Italy
4. Go to Spain
5. Go to Hawaii
6. Shop on Rodeo Drive
7. Get a Tattoo
8. Learn to speak Italian
9. Re-learn Spanish
10. Learn to drive a motorcycle
11. Buy a motorcycle 
12. Learn to ride a horse
13. Learn to ice skate / roller stake
14. Open a Restaurant or Club
15. Own 200 pairs of shoes 
16. Own 100 scarfs
17. Start my own business / organization
18. Get married
19. Have a child (I have two now) - Haley & Dylan <3
20. Wear a size 8 Be Healthy
21. Buy / build a new house (one that fits a family of 4 with room to grow)

The things that matter most in my life now aren't shoes and scarves...it's Shaun, Haley and Dylan. These three have given me so much happiness...I don't think I've smiled so much in my life. Or had such a feeling of warmth in my heart for someone, or three someones. I've traded my heels for hoodies and scarves for scoreboards. A day at Rodeo Drive isn't as much fun as a day at the field or on the court. When life comes together...the important things are the moments and memories, not the material things. I love all of you very much...thank you for being my heart and smile. 

I've realized that my journey of life and love, puts a toll on my journey of weight loss. When I'm sad, stressed, mad, alone, etc...going to the gym was my happy. Now that I'm happy, going to the gym is a chore lol. I'll be honest, I have not been to the gym since February / March. I have done a few zumba classes, I did walk 3-4 times a week over the summer / fall. This winter I started taking my pole fitness class...and will continue into February, but the gym is not what it used to be for me. Notice I changed my "wear a size 8" to "be healthy" -- that's what I want to focus on for 2015. I don't need to be a size 8 to be happy, and being a size 8 doesn't mean I'm healthy either. I want to focus more on being smart with the food we consume and being active (which can be the gym, or maybe playing basketball with the kids, going for a hike, etc). Would I like to be a size 8, sure...cause it makes shopping for clothes a lot easier, and I could share with my sister BUT -- it doesn't mean I'll be happy. 

I have an appointment with my doctors office to see where I am health wise, and those will be my goals for the year -- if my cholesterol is high, I will focus on lowering it...if my sugar is high, I will focus on lowering that too... clearly we know the scale will be high, but as long as I'm focusing on the other things that are more important for a long life, the scale will go down on it's own...but I will not let it be my focus in 2015...it's been my focus for too long. I did notice that in November, after my cleanse, my blood pressure was at 110/62, now it's up to 120/80...I don't doubt for one minute it is from eating clean.

A few other things I needed to work on in 2014, from my 9 Things I Suck At blog: 

1. Staying on top of this blog -- clearly we all know I still need to work on this. 
2. Staying on a "lifestyle" change -- again, something I will be working on -- it's about being healthy. I need to find a constant that I am comfortable with and will continue with daily, monthly, yearly.
3. Going to the gym -- Hahaha...that is all. 
4. Driving -- I think I'm great at it... but other's would disagree completely (Shaun). 
5. Trusting people -- The one person I want / need to trust in my life, I do. Completely 100%. 
6. Saying "no" -- Yea...next.
7. Finances -- I even said "no promises" on this one in the first blog!
8. Scheduling my time -- While I am only working 1 job now (not 3)...I still need to manage my time better, and pay more attention to what is going on! Between appointments, 2 kids, and sports...I get confused....I'm still working on this. Anyone want to be my free personal assistant? 
9. Keeping in touch with family & friends -- An item that should get wrapped into scheduling my time. I would like to start taking at least one day a week and visiting a friend or grabbing dinner / drink, maybe a game of cribbage. It's my own fault...I work, I go home, and I don't want to move lol -- this will change, as it will be part of being healthy (gotta get out of the house to keep sane!). 

I could go on and on about 2014...but I think I summed it up pretty well in a July blog -- I smile. I enjoy my family and friends more. I am in love. I'll add -- I'm happy. 

Here's to 2015... Happy New Year Everyone! 

Be safe...be smart...beYOUtiful <3

~Melissa 
Weight: 208
Blood Pressure: 120/80
Cholesterol: tbd 
Sugar: tbd 

Marilyn Joyce Fitton

As most of you know, my Grandmother passed away. It was a sudden, unexpected event...that I am having a hard time processing. She lived a great life of 82 years...she got to watch her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren grow up. Letting go for me is easier knowing she is with my grandfather now, as she has missed him dearly the past few years. She also went in her sleep, no suffering. As I look at the positives of her life and her passing, I smile. It still hurts, and will for a long time, as there are days I still cry for my grandfather, but I understand the circle of life.

My father asked me if I could think of a few things I would want the pastor to say at my grandmother's funeral. I ended up sitting down and writing two pages worth. At that point I thought it would be better if I spoke. The bond my grandmother and I had was different than most, it was beautiful and I'll forever cherish and miss it.

Here's what I shared:

I'll forever remember spending many days and nights watching QVC or House Hunters...on mute, and talking about the jewelry we wanted or beautiful homes, wondering how those people could afford them! And let's not forget your infamous QVC notebook...

The many lunches at The Villager on Thursdays after your hair appointments. And you, every time complaining because it was too loud. Always ordering liver and onions because you wouldn't have it any other time...and heaven forbid you let me cook at your house. If it wasn't microwavable or It's A Good, we didn't have it. 

I always admired your ability to say how you felt or what you were thinking..even if the person you were talking about was at the next table. Because, even though you couldn't hear them...they heard you, trust me. 

Since as far back as I can remember you were always a part of my life. If I ever needed anything you were there, no questions asked. You and Grampy opened your home to me for a summer, bringing me to work, waiting until 6pm to have supper, which we all know was supposed to be at 5pm. Even waited up for me if I went out...just to make sure I was safe and sound. 

I'll miss our field trips to Augusta and Portland. You always in the back seat...and always making sure I knew the speed limit. Trying to have conversation about life, knowing you wouldn't hear me...we always made the best of it. 

Thursday lunches won't be the same. Watching QVC or House Hungers will probably make me cry for a while. But knowing you are back with the man that made you happy and who you so greatly missed these last three years, makes me smile. 

Before I say good bye, I want to say, "Thank You." Thank you for raising a boy who turned into my father, and has a heart as big as yours. Thank you for always being there for me and your family. Thank you, for being you, the woman we all loved, the mother, grandmother, and friend we'll all miss and cherish forever. 

Until we meet again... I love you Grammy. 

~Melissa