Food to Fill the Void

I was so excited to get home Thursday night and try out my new 12 stretches for this awesome hip of mine...but that is far from what happened. I got home from work and sat down on the couch (first mistake) and stuffed my face. To the point that My Fitness Pal was giving me error messages as I was filling out everything I was eating.

Ok, here is what really happened. I got home (and when I say home there could be two places that I am at - my actually house, or my friend Jessica's house where I frequently stay at because it's close to work and who likes being home alone all the time) the kids (hers not mine) were running around, dinner was ready, there was a movie playing, and Jessica was doing homework on the computer. So, I joined the crowd. Hung out with the kids, watched the movie, helped with Jessica's homework, and at that point was not removing my butt from the couch, except for when I started getting "bored" and then "emotional."

Bored for me equals food in mouth. Now this wouldn't be a problem if I craved an apple or yogurt, but I crave chocolate and ice cream. After stuffing my face with ice cream and some caramel Hershey kisses I was good, so I thought. A couple hours rolls around and I'm hungry (again). Only at this point, I'm not bored hungry, I'm "emotional" hungry. This is where I should back up a little for you...

I thought when I turned 30 my life was going to end because I was not married and I had no kids, honestly 30 and 31 were a breeze - but since I have turned 32 it feels like I've been more emotional than I have in my last 31 years of life. I'm at the stage where most of my friends are getting married, are married, are having babies, or have at least one child already. So when I am hanging out with them, conversations are typically about well, babies and kids -- or weddings. Normally, this wouldn't bother me. I'd enjoy hearing about what baby A did and when child B's next performance was. If the kids were around, I'd love playing with them, holding them - yes, I'd even change diapers. It wasn't until December 24, 2013 that seemed to change.


Don't get me wrong, I still want to hear about the babies and the weddings. I still want to hang out with the kids. But now, when I leave wherever I am, I cry. Or, like last night - I am sitting at home watching Despicable Me 2 and everyone goes to bed, I cry. I want a baby, but of course to have the baby, you need the man - and let's not even start talking about that in this post.

Overall, it was just an emotional day for me. Things happened throughout the night that made me think and made me sad, and thus made me eat - because I am above all things - and emotional eater. So while I can't have a child right now, I can have string cheese, chocolate, ice cream and lemonade.

2014 - DO stop being an emotional eater.

~Melissa
Weight: 189lbs
Goal: 150-155lbs