2014: Not the Year I Was Hoping For

Well, 2014 didn't turn out the way I thought it was going to at all! My list of items to get accomplished, my weight goals, my personal goals...they were all over the place. It's crazy how you can have this plan...you can be so focused, and then life happens. You get busy, you lose focus, or you start focusing on other things. You realize what you thought was important, isn't really that important (maybe for a moment, but not for a life time). You know what 2014 turned out to be for me...happy. Not "check off a list of things to do" happy... but truly, honestly, deeply happy. 

This was my bucket list and you know what happened to it...it changed. It changed because I wrote it when I thought doing a bunch of fun things and having a lot of material things, would make me happy or fill a void. I've made a few adjustments to it, still keeping the items that mean something to me, and things I want to say I did before I die...but it's focus has changed a bit:

1. Write a Book
2. Go to Ireland
3. Go to Italy
4. Go to Spain
5. Go to Hawaii
6. Shop on Rodeo Drive
7. Get a Tattoo
8. Learn to speak Italian
9. Re-learn Spanish
10. Learn to drive a motorcycle
11. Buy a motorcycle 
12. Learn to ride a horse
13. Learn to ice skate / roller stake
14. Open a Restaurant or Club
15. Own 200 pairs of shoes 
16. Own 100 scarfs
17. Start my own business / organization
18. Get married
19. Have a child (I have two now) - Haley & Dylan <3
20. Wear a size 8 Be Healthy
21. Buy / build a new house (one that fits a family of 4 with room to grow)

The things that matter most in my life now aren't shoes and scarves...it's Shaun, Haley and Dylan. These three have given me so much happiness...I don't think I've smiled so much in my life. Or had such a feeling of warmth in my heart for someone, or three someones. I've traded my heels for hoodies and scarves for scoreboards. A day at Rodeo Drive isn't as much fun as a day at the field or on the court. When life comes together...the important things are the moments and memories, not the material things. I love all of you very much...thank you for being my heart and smile. 

I've realized that my journey of life and love, puts a toll on my journey of weight loss. When I'm sad, stressed, mad, alone, etc...going to the gym was my happy. Now that I'm happy, going to the gym is a chore lol. I'll be honest, I have not been to the gym since February / March. I have done a few zumba classes, I did walk 3-4 times a week over the summer / fall. This winter I started taking my pole fitness class...and will continue into February, but the gym is not what it used to be for me. Notice I changed my "wear a size 8" to "be healthy" -- that's what I want to focus on for 2015. I don't need to be a size 8 to be happy, and being a size 8 doesn't mean I'm healthy either. I want to focus more on being smart with the food we consume and being active (which can be the gym, or maybe playing basketball with the kids, going for a hike, etc). Would I like to be a size 8, sure...cause it makes shopping for clothes a lot easier, and I could share with my sister BUT -- it doesn't mean I'll be happy. 

I have an appointment with my doctors office to see where I am health wise, and those will be my goals for the year -- if my cholesterol is high, I will focus on lowering it...if my sugar is high, I will focus on lowering that too... clearly we know the scale will be high, but as long as I'm focusing on the other things that are more important for a long life, the scale will go down on it's own...but I will not let it be my focus in 2015...it's been my focus for too long. I did notice that in November, after my cleanse, my blood pressure was at 110/62, now it's up to 120/80...I don't doubt for one minute it is from eating clean.

A few other things I needed to work on in 2014, from my 9 Things I Suck At blog: 

1. Staying on top of this blog -- clearly we all know I still need to work on this. 
2. Staying on a "lifestyle" change -- again, something I will be working on -- it's about being healthy. I need to find a constant that I am comfortable with and will continue with daily, monthly, yearly.
3. Going to the gym -- Hahaha...that is all. 
4. Driving -- I think I'm great at it... but other's would disagree completely (Shaun). 
5. Trusting people -- The one person I want / need to trust in my life, I do. Completely 100%. 
6. Saying "no" -- Yea...next.
7. Finances -- I even said "no promises" on this one in the first blog!
8. Scheduling my time -- While I am only working 1 job now (not 3)...I still need to manage my time better, and pay more attention to what is going on! Between appointments, 2 kids, and sports...I get confused....I'm still working on this. Anyone want to be my free personal assistant? 
9. Keeping in touch with family & friends -- An item that should get wrapped into scheduling my time. I would like to start taking at least one day a week and visiting a friend or grabbing dinner / drink, maybe a game of cribbage. It's my own fault...I work, I go home, and I don't want to move lol -- this will change, as it will be part of being healthy (gotta get out of the house to keep sane!). 

I could go on and on about 2014...but I think I summed it up pretty well in a July blog -- I smile. I enjoy my family and friends more. I am in love. I'll add -- I'm happy. 

Here's to 2015... Happy New Year Everyone! 

Be safe...be smart...beYOUtiful <3

~Melissa 
Weight: 208
Blood Pressure: 120/80
Cholesterol: tbd 
Sugar: tbd 

Marilyn Joyce Fitton

As most of you know, my Grandmother passed away. It was a sudden, unexpected event...that I am having a hard time processing. She lived a great life of 82 years...she got to watch her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren grow up. Letting go for me is easier knowing she is with my grandfather now, as she has missed him dearly the past few years. She also went in her sleep, no suffering. As I look at the positives of her life and her passing, I smile. It still hurts, and will for a long time, as there are days I still cry for my grandfather, but I understand the circle of life.

My father asked me if I could think of a few things I would want the pastor to say at my grandmother's funeral. I ended up sitting down and writing two pages worth. At that point I thought it would be better if I spoke. The bond my grandmother and I had was different than most, it was beautiful and I'll forever cherish and miss it.

Here's what I shared:

I'll forever remember spending many days and nights watching QVC or House Hunters...on mute, and talking about the jewelry we wanted or beautiful homes, wondering how those people could afford them! And let's not forget your infamous QVC notebook...

The many lunches at The Villager on Thursdays after your hair appointments. And you, every time complaining because it was too loud. Always ordering liver and onions because you wouldn't have it any other time...and heaven forbid you let me cook at your house. If it wasn't microwavable or It's A Good, we didn't have it. 

I always admired your ability to say how you felt or what you were thinking..even if the person you were talking about was at the next table. Because, even though you couldn't hear them...they heard you, trust me. 

Since as far back as I can remember you were always a part of my life. If I ever needed anything you were there, no questions asked. You and Grampy opened your home to me for a summer, bringing me to work, waiting until 6pm to have supper, which we all know was supposed to be at 5pm. Even waited up for me if I went out...just to make sure I was safe and sound. 

I'll miss our field trips to Augusta and Portland. You always in the back seat...and always making sure I knew the speed limit. Trying to have conversation about life, knowing you wouldn't hear me...we always made the best of it. 

Thursday lunches won't be the same. Watching QVC or House Hungers will probably make me cry for a while. But knowing you are back with the man that made you happy and who you so greatly missed these last three years, makes me smile. 

Before I say good bye, I want to say, "Thank You." Thank you for raising a boy who turned into my father, and has a heart as big as yours. Thank you for always being there for me and your family. Thank you, for being you, the woman we all loved, the mother, grandmother, and friend we'll all miss and cherish forever. 

Until we meet again... I love you Grammy. 

~Melissa

I'm Done: But Not Really...

I finished my reboot. I rewarded myself with a bottle of wine and Coconut Turtle Ice Cream lol (I know defeats the purpose, but I worked hard at it, so a little indulgence is ok).

As I started incorporating things into my diet again, I didn't notice too much difference in my body reaction. Dairy was fine, sugar was fine, gluten was fine until I had a slice of white bread, and I didn't feel "gross" but my body was soooo gassy after (TMI I know). I mean I'm a gassy person anyways, I burp all the time, but this was a little extra gas, if you know what I'm saying. So needless to say I don't think anything really "ales" my body, but there are a few things I could stand doing without.

Now that I can have these things, I realize I don't really need or want them. Mac and Cheese, eh. String cheese, I've had a few this week, but I could live without them. I have lived 30 days without so many things, that I can easily go another 30 days, and maybe another after that, however, knowing that if I want to "treat" myself to something I can -- all within moderation.

#GASSYPOLEGIRLPROBLEMS ~MW

I am looking forward to the next steps...which is really just continuing living like this, eating cleaner and healthier. I have also signed up for a pole class. Yes, that kind of pole. But the work out that my body gets is awesome! I will be the first to tell you I can't do a push up or pull up for the life of me. But knowing my upper body is holding me up while I swing around a pole, is pretty awesome. If nothing else, I will hopefully increase my upper body while having fun with some girlfriends. The class is awesome though. The teacher is amazing. It's very classy, not trashy at all. We laugh, make fun of each other trying new things...but all the while working some parts of my body that need some serious help. You know those "bye bye" arms we get when we are a little heavier than other girls, ya, those are going "bye bye" with this class! Check out Empower: Body & Pole Fitness if you live in the Central Maine area!!

I have still failed to get my a$$ to the gym though. Which I really need and want to do just for my own benefit and health. I feel better when I go to the gym. So I need to stop being so lazy and just do it!

That's all I have for now. Tonight is my second pole class night...and I'm super excited for it! Which is far from what I was feeling last week. I literally wanted to be sick before class. Then after I realized WOW -- I can do this and I only ended up with a few bumps and bruises on my legs!

Until next time...

~Melissa
Current: 193lbs
Goal #2: 185lbs (1.31.15)
Mood: Accomplished

Week 3.5 Done: Time to Bring it Back

I finished this week with no problems! Per my last blog, tomorrow I will begin incorporating certain foods again. There was a point when I was super excited about this...but I've gone without cheese for so long, and I have fallen in love with Almond milk (and found a NEW one Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Coconut -- OMG it's like candy), and my cravings for coffee are few and far between...that I almost don't even care (notice I said ALMOST).

Step one will be lactose. Tomorrow I'll incorporate one serving of cheese or milk to my day and see how I feel. Then two servings, then three...Step two is gluten with the same process, and step three sugar. I'm ready! Tonight however, will be filled with watching kids stuff their faces with chocolate and other candies...I love torturing myself.

Not much else to write at this point, just wanted to share that I made it another week, and it's time to bring back the foods!! I also wanted to share that I'm down to 194lbs...which means since October 6th I've lost 12lbs!!! Yes, I'm bragging. Though still not where I was last year at this time (179-183lbs)... I'm still very happy and feeling healthy.

Happy Halloween. Have a safe night. I can't wait to see everyone's pictures!

~Melissa
Current: 194lbs
Goal #1: 195lbs (MADE IT!)
Goal #2: 185lbs (1.31.15)

Week 3 Done: I Cheated

I would love to say that I was good and that things are going great; but I can't lie to my loyal blogger fans... I cheated.  

Saturday after an intense championship football game (of which we lost, very upset 11 year old boys, so hard to watch), we got home around 8pm, and I hadn't taken anything out (chicken, turkey, etc) to cook. So I made the infamous Mac and Cheese dinner. I've gone three weeks cooking this for the kids, and not once have I had any. I haven't even tested the noodles, or the finished product to make sure it was ok! Saturday night though, I caved. I had a bowl of Mac and Cheese. I felt so guilty, even while I was eating it I was thinking, you are so dumb. 

Let's just say the next morning, the Mac and Cheese karma set in. I felt like crap. My stomach was throbbing (you know the kind when you feel like you have a knife being shoved into your gut, yea that one). It wasn't until about 2pm that I finally started feeling "better." 

I don't need anyone to reprimand me, I did that to myself enough. I just needed to come clean and tell everyone. Now, because I was dumb, I am going to push my reboot a few days longer. Today is supposed to be the start of my week of reintroducing things into my diet (lactose, gluten, sugar, etc). Well, seeing that I had ALL of that in the meal I ate, and I felt like crap -- I am not sure what it was exactly that made me feel that way (which is really the point of this whole reboot). It could have been the lactose, gluten -- anything, I mean really, it's processed food -- or it could have just been my body saying, you dummy! So, instead of starting my intake week today (Monday), I'll be starting it Friday (and no, it won't start with Mac and Cheese!). 

Funny, I really don't even want cheese now. Which is the only thing I've been craving since the beginning LOL. 

On the plus side, I am .8lbs away from my goal for October 31st! I got on the scale this morning and it said 195.8lbs. WHAT! I've lost 10lbs since October 6th! That's crazy. Maybe not for all of you, but for me...when I say I busted my ASS for 6 months to lose 20lbs and in less than 1 month I loose 10lbs...that's what is keeping me going right now. And actually it's more like 11lbs because I know I was hanging around 206lbs when I started :) hehe...whoot whoot!

Here's to ONE MORE WEEK to hit 195lbs even (or less). 

~Melissa

Current: 195.8lbs

Goal: 195lbs (October 31st)

Mood: HAPPY!

Week 2 Done: Food Problems

You know when you tell yourself you can't have something and you want it more? The first week wasn't so bad...the second week, wasn't so easy.

I have been craving cheese all week long. ANY cheese, but particularly sharp and mozzarella. Then I started craving ice cream -- this I will blame on Shaun because he bought a drumsticks multipack this weekend (grrr). The worst was working in the Snack Shack at the game Sunday. I'll admit, I had some french fries (and by some I mean like, 6 -- which I can have on this reboot I'm doing, I've just been good and NOT eating them)...and I did take a 1/2 piece of a chicken finger, BUT took the batter off of it, and then ate it...I really wanted to cave and have a hot chocolate, only because it was 10 degrees with the wind chill on Sunday -- I did not, so all and all I did good! Oh, yes - I am still missing Mac & Cheese and again, made it for the family this weekend and didn't even lick the spoon!

I'm starting week 3 of the reboot, and after this week (ie: week 4) I can start incorporating these things in again (ex: dairy, gluten, sugar, etc). Honestly, I can handle a lot of what I've been doing (no coffee, no red meat) but knowing that I can put a piece of cheese in my mouth next week is all that's getting me through this week! The purpose of all this is to see what ales me, if it's food related. Mostly for headaches or just "feeling good" in general. I might find out that when I go to put a piece of cheese in my system, I feel sick! It might take time, I might be lactose intolerant -- who knows! My life could be over as we know it if I can't ever eat cheese again...pray for me.

I am hoping after all this that I will still be more aware of what I am eating. You'd be surprised how much of the things we put in our body have ingredients I can't even say! I mean, we all know this, but when you have to see if there is gluten, or sugar, or what kind of oils are used -- it's crazy! I am excited to continue eating this way after the 4 weeks is over. Though, I will be happy when I can go out to eat again, and not be SO worried about what I'm eating and how it was cooked. But, the gluten free things aren't that bad...and I LOVE almond milk. I'm willing to try the almond milk yogurts and ice creams -- really I just want the feeling that I'm eating something bad, but not really. LOL... #foodproblems

All in all, after 2 weeks I'm down 7lbs. This is with no zumba and minimal walking because of my back the week before. However, it's time to suck it up -- I will be bringing my butt to the gym again. I HAVE too... I can't afford not too really. It's one thing to eat healthy, it's another to be healthy. Watch out PF I'm coming for you!

Start week 3 - NOW!

~Melissa
Current: 199lbs (4lbs to go!!!)
Goal: 195lbs (10.31.14)
Mood: Optimistic :-)

Week 1 Done: 8 Things I've Realized

I'm still alive, and so are those around me. I have made it one full week with no caffeine, no sugar, no red meat, no gluten, no pork, no dairy...no no no!! Now that I've made it through 1 week, the next 3 should be a breeze!

Things I've realized the first week;

1. I know understand why America has such a weight problem - because it costs about 3x more to eat "healthy" than not too.
2. I don't need coffee, I like it, but I don't need it.
3. Almond milk is really good, no I mean really good.
4. Being creative with eating healthy and a budget is not easy, but you come up with some good ideas.
5. I still crave Mac n Cheese. EVERYDAY!
6. My boyfriend is very helpful and supportive. Except when he eats chips and cheese in front of me LOL -- but other than that, he's eaten everything I've made.
7. Shopping for items without gluten, sugar, or dairy is harder than you realize - EVERYTHING has sugar in it, like everything.
8. Don't be afraid to try something new. I made buffalo chicken that came out -- not right, but still tasted good, and it was a learning process!

This week should be easier than the first...I'm hoping it's a progressive process, and not the other way around! The down side right now is that last Monday I threw my back out. I have no idea what I did, when, where, how... just that I could barely walk for the last week. So unfortunately, I haven't been able to exercise like I would have liked too last week. Right now, not too strong either, it's still bothering me, but I can at least go for walks again at this point...anything is better than nothing. What it does mean is zumba is on hold for a bit, and I may need to make an appointment soon to have it checked out.

I didn't really weigh myself "at the beginning" of this reboot, but I do know that I was around 206lbs. I weighed in this morning at 201lbs! Which means first week and I've lost 5lbs -- it's AMAZING what just eating healthy and drinking lots of water can do for your body. I feel confident that by November 1st, I will meet my 10lb goal and be at 195lbs -- especially if I can get my back set and start going back to the gym -- that's right I said it. It's time to start hitting the gym again. Well, who are we kidding, it was time a long time ago (I should have never stopped)...!

Until next time...reboot recap week 1 over!

~Melissa
Current: 201lbs
Goal: 195lbs (10.31.14)
Mood: Happy

10lbs in 30 Days?

Well then...I feel like this year is flying by so fast. First all of Summer, then September...now it's October. This is crazy.

My current schedule is finally getting settled, just in time for it to change after football season is over in November. I have Zumba on Mondays (and sometimes Thursdays), I am walking every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday (if I don't go to Zumba). My downfalls currently however...Friday - Sunday. I don't do anything that consists of exercise OR of eating healthy!

I really need to crack down -- especially since October 31st is right around the corner, and I have to be down to 195lbs to meet my first goal! I know I can do it. I just have to do it. I have a 28 day detox that is going to help me get there. My goal is to start Monday, October 6th... as I am going to be gone this weekend and traveling, it's tough to start something like that when you aren't home, and when you don't know how your body is going to react.

So, to assist in starting the detox...I am going to start Saturday by NO COFFEE. Which is going to be really hard, but I've done it before I can do it again. I remember feeling really good too (after the 4 days of headaches)...but after that I was more awake than I was with coffee. I'm also going to make my list of groceries that I need and take a trip to Uncle Dean's and Trader Joe's this weekend. I am also going to put together my calendar for meals for the next 28 days.

I really need to step up my exercising. I used to go to the gym 4-5 days a week, and I may need to do that again to get back to where I once was. It's also 100 mile month...so I'll be walking a lot more this month -- which will definitely require the gym, since it's dark at 6pm, and this girl does not like walking at night! I'll keep you all updated on my 100 mile progress too this month (along with the detox).

It all comes down to eating right and exercising -- I just need a little boost (ie: the detox), as I don't think my body reacts to just "eating right and exercising" like it used too... I'm told this is what happens in your 30's apparently.

Until next time.

~Melissa
Current: !@#$#!
Goal (10.31): 195lbs
5 miles

Oh, I'll share a recipes as I am going along through the detox program, but here is one I can't wait to cook... Roasted Chicken and Potatoes (Dairy, Gluten, and MSG Free). OMG it looks so good!!

I'm also excited to try a couple of these for breakfast or an energy boost (since I can't have coffee)...yummmmmyyyyyy:

• Strawberry Spinach Avocado Smoothie 
• 2 cups non dairy milk (coconut or almond) 
• 2 handfuls spinach 
• 1 cup strawberries
• 1 avocado 
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 
• Cherry Chocolate Kale Smoothie
• 1 Banana
• 2 Handfuls kale or spinach
• 1/2 avocado 
• 3/4 cup cherries 
• 1 1/2 tablespoon cocao
• 3/4 cup water 

I've found this blog - The Healthy Happy Wife - it has amazing recipes on it that are gluten free, dairy free, sugar free, etc... definitely worth checking out if you are looking to eat healthier! 

A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

Calling this blog "A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That" because that's what it is lol...a "goulash" of stuff for the week! 

I didn't die at Zumba! I thought I was going to. At times I was sure I did. But in the end I felt great, sweaty and exhausted, but great! This will be my new Monday night routine for a while. The instructor is great too. She's not the Pam we used to have, but she's a great runner up! Check her out at Blue Wave Studios, she teaches Zumba there on Monday's (6pm) and Thursday's (6:30pm)! 

I found a 4.5 mile route for while the boys are at football that I can walk within 1 1/2 hours. I've been struggling finding a route to walk that took up enough time for practice. Now my goal is to do this one a few times, and then start jogging (kind of like couch to 5k style). Once I get this route down to 1 hour, then I'll add another mile to it! 

I refuse to use a scale anymore. I was down to 201lbs. I since then have gone to Zumba, been walking a minimum of 1 hour a night. I even packed a lunch for football Sunday (no fries, nachos, hot dogs, hamburgers)! And I've been drinking lots more water and eating much better than I have been the last few months -- so riddle me this - WHY did the scale say I gained 5lbs (and has remained there for the last three days)??!! So, you know what... I feel better about myself. I know I'm doing good things for myself and getting on track to being healthy, so I say "F*** YOU scale" -- I will only use you when it's time to weigh myself in for my goals (1st goal is October 31st, 195lbs).

I need a calorie counter, fit-bit, wrist band thing! If anyone wants to get me anything for my birthday or Christmas (early) -- I'd love one of those things that I can wear while walking or doing Zumba so I know how many calories I am really burning, and if there is one that does more than that -- awesome! Like sync with my phone or something! I'd also like one of those arm bands so I can bring my phone with me while I'm walking / jogging for three reasons: 1) music, 2) time, 3) couch to 5k app (oh and it's always good when not with someone to have a phone in case of emergencies)!

Looking forward to my walk again tonight, hoping the rain holds off. However, should it not, I can make it to Zumba again!! 

~Melissa 

Current: FU SCALE!

Goal #1: 195 (10.31.14)

The Summer Season Comes to an End

Well, August went by just as fast as July! I can't believe it is already September...

August had lots of good things...1) I've lost 4lbs so far and that was just by changing the way I eat. (and really that wasn't the "month" of August, that was like the last 2 weeks lol, 2) Shaun and the kids are moved into the house, 3) Football season has started, and 4) Got to go camping one more time before summer was over! I say that's a good month all in all.

I have decided I am going to start taking Zumba again. I'm really excited, because I LOVE to dance, and at the same time I can shed a few more pounds. If I stay on the track I am on now, I will easily hit my 10lbs by October 31st -- I might even hit 15lbs -- but right now my eye on the prize is 10! Zumba for those that have never done it, is AWESOME. I think everyone should take at least ONE Zumba class...and let me clarify -- this is the legit Zumba class. The first thing out of Shaun's mouth when I said I was going to start Zumba again was, "Zumba or is this prostitution Zumba" -- really? Yes, I said, I'm taking a prostitution class -- thought it'd be fun. LOL (and this is why I love him)! Anyways... Zumba starts September 8th, at the Blue Wave Studio in Waterville if anyone is interested and is only $5 a class and you can come and go as you want!!

The one positive to it being September is that (as I mentioned above), football has started! While Summer is my favorite season of the year, Fall is my second favorite because it means cool nights, hoodies, hot chocolate, and FOOTBALL! I love football. It's my favorite sport, hands down. I'm excited this year because I get to watch Dylan play and Shaun coach. There's just something sexy about a man coaching a sport, mmmm...oh sorry, move along. Dylan's the cute little QB that all the girls are going to want to date when he gets older, but right now, he's just our little QB on the 6th grade football team! He's such a great player and teammate too. As of now, my life revolves around a pigskin, and I love it!

Until next time.

~Melissa
Current: 201 (9/2/14)
Goal #1: 195 (10/31/14)

I'm Sorry, Did I Miss the Month of July?

Well I definitely failed at the blog upkeep for July - but really July's over already?

Between the holiday, vacation, and work - I was a little busy. No excuse, I know. Here's where I really don't have any excuses - I am back over the mark I said I would NEVER go over again. That being said...I'm happy. Not with the fact that my awesome clothes that I bought last year don't fit, but with my life. I smile. I enjoy my family and friends more. I am in love. No matter what I weigh, I haven't been this happy for a long, long time - if ever. My year of "do" is not panning out the way I thought it was going too. However, new "do's" occurred that were not "planned" and you know what -- I like them!

I wondered if I used the gym before as my escape from what was going on in my life. If I went to the gym, I didn't have to be around the people that were making my life, well, not happy. Whatever I was using the gym for before, today I want to use it to be healthy. They say you need to be happy and healthy to have a long life. Well, I'm happy...now I need to get back to being healthy. I've started using MyFitnessPal again... the ticker is going to be on these blogs (pending it works out correctly) -- it'll show my progress each time I enter my weight.

In the past I have always just put my "GOAL" weight -- right now that is depressing as it is so far away from where it was before! So, I'm going to have multiple goal weights -- 10lb increments -- if I get there sooner, great -- I'll adjust them as I go. But first goal is October 31, 2014 -- 195lbs.

Aside from being past the point of no return...my summer has been amazing. I have been spending lots of time with Shaun and the kids. Baseball. BBQs. Camping. Friends and family. I couldn't have asked for a better summer. The last exciting event for the summer is "the move"...that's right, Shaun is moving in next month!

Yikes... big step. But I know that it's the right step. This is a man that, as my life was heading in a downward spiral, picked me up and got me out of the whole I was heading down. He kept me smiling when all I wanted to do was cry... and he continues to keep me smiling. He also fits 98% of my "What I Want in a Man" list. The list that I wrote before he came along...and the one he misses the mark on, isn't a deal breaker -- it's ok if he doesn't dance, cause he'd still bring me out dancing if I wanted to go!

Well there you have it -- July in a nut shell.



Note: Most of those that read this blog know my struggle with my weight. If you are going to be mean or hateful about my weight, my goals, etc... please remove yourself from my blog feed, as well as my life. I need people that are going to be encouraging.

~ Melissa
Current: 205lbs 
Goal #1: 195lbs (October 2014)
Goal #2: 185lbs (January 2015)
Goal #3: 175lbs (March 2015)
Goal #4: 165lbs (June 2015)
Final Goal: 150lbs (Birthday -- 2015)
Mood: Happy, Determined

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Oh Hi Summer, How Are You?

Summer is officially here. That means what exactly? Longer days. Warmer weather. Bon fires. Camping. Fishing. Oh...and no more Home Depot!! For those that know me, I have been working at Home Depot for almost a year. This was due to the fact that last year at this time in my life things weren't so great, and I had to support myself a little more than I had planned. Almost a year later, my life is back on track (for the most part) and I have no need (well I mean everyone loves "extra money") to stress myself out and work 7 days a week... so today is my last day.

Now that I will be back to being a 9-5p, Monday thru Friday working girl...I am already planning what to do with my "free" time! First on my list is starting back up with my walks with Michaela (Monday-Tuesday are all yours baby). Wednesday, Thursday, and Fridays are going to consist of lawn / house work... as I have been working so much and spending less time on these agenda items, it is going to be a lot of WTF's (literally and figuratively) to get this done! My weekends...well those are reserved for Shaun and the kids. I'm hoping they are full of day trips to the lake, beach, whatever body of water we choose...camping, and lots of fun!

I also need to get back to some sort of workout regiment. While walking Monday's and Tuesday's will be good, and house work / lawn work is always a workout -- getting back to the gym is a must. Or if not the gym, setting something up where I do it at home (and stop paying for the gym I no longer go too!). These 30 day challenges are good, and have worked for me in the past, I may check them out again. However, right now at this point in my life... I'm back to around 195lbs and you know what -- I'm happy. Don't get me wrong, there are times where I want to cry (and do) because the clothes I bought don't fit anymore, but I'm happy. Now I just need to work happy & healthy together... and maybe get Shaun to come to the gym with me (I mean I did do a whole weekend at a baseball tournament)! hehe.

Just a short Hello Summer blog. I'll keep you updated with my summer slim-down, camping trips, and any other major milestones along the way per the usual!

~Melissa
Current: 195-ish
Goal: 155lbs

Time to Graduate!

I've been pretty busy lately. Went to Ohio for my cousin Abbey's graduation over Memorial Day weekend. My cousin Connor graduates tomorrow. Still working two jobs - you know the normal busy. OK - back to my trip to Ohio though first...While I was there my lovely Aunts thought it best that I go to the gym with them. Seeing as I have been a bit lazy (ok, understatement - wicked lazy and gained about 15lbs in the last 4 months) - I said "Sure!"

Now, let me start by saying my Aunt Lori is a fitness goddess. She's this cute little thing (looks so sweet and harmless) -- though I know in a street fight she'd kick everyone's ass. My Auntie (Darlene) is built more like me -- but definitely more fit than I am.. Day 1 - Lori suggests Abs & Cardio -- great, area of most needed improvement. HA! This cute little thing had me healed over by the end of the session. THEN - I decided to go to the Zoo and walk around for 3+ hours. Needless to say, by bed time I couldn't walk, and when I got up in the morning, I couldn't feel my lower abs. Now, as if this wasn't enough, that next morning we decided to do Pilates -- ps: I have NEVER done Pilates before and had I know exactly what it was -- may have changed my mind!

However, after recovering (3 days later - no really - it wasn't until I got up on Wednesday after I got home that I could finally walk normal and didn't want to cry), I realized that not only are my cousins graduating, but I need to graduate. From what you might ask? My half ass exercise routines and eating habits. While I do not think I need to be at the level my Aunt Lori so kindly thinks my body can handle, I can step up what I'm doing and how I am doing it. As far as eating habits, wait what, eating habits -- yea, exactly my point.

To help with my graduating to better exercise and eating habits - I have started putting together menu's for each week. Before I would wing it - which would normally mean, let's go out to eat. Now we are trying to stick to a plan, and a healthy one; lots of veggies, protein, and less carbs. As for exercising, I'm probably going to have to take summer classes to graduate. My plan is to start doing things at home (there are so many free online regiments I can start with)...and then get back into a routine of going to the gym. This will be much easier when I am not working two jobs (as right now Sundays, Mondays, and Tuesdays are completely useless days).

As I graduate from exercising and eating - I am also going to graduate from stress. A major reason I have gained all this weight back is because I have been stressed with life, work, money, and my weight (funny right).  No more...I am finally in a happy place, at least more so than I have been in the last two years. I just got my fishing license and am picking up some poles this week (biggest stress reliever ever is fishing) -- I have these two great kids I can go and do this with now (mini golf, sports, trips to the beach) -- and an amazing man to keep me sane (how he does it I don't know, but I love him more and more each day for it).

All that being said -- please ask me how I'm doing. Pop me an email, comment on my blogs, facebook, text, snap chat -- keep me in line. I need your help! After all...Summer is coming!

Today the sun is shining and when I leave work I will be making stuffed peppers, putting a budget together, and cleaning the stress from my life.

Happy Tuesday everyone!



~ Melissa
Current: who knows
Goal: 150-155lbs
Mood: Happy, Determined

Baseball and Life

I have never been a huge baseball fan. I mean, I love going to baseball games, and the Red Sox will always be number one to me...but watching it on TV or talking about it, was never really my "thing". I'm a football girl...just the way it is. However, I'm now dating this amazing man, who loves baseball and coaches his sons baseball team. So, I am trying to be be supportive and understand the game more. I should mention I did get nominated (ok, I offered because I love this stuff) to run the PAL Baseball Facebook page, and as I'm working on the page I am coming across all these amazing quotes about baseball. I know that all sports have quotes, but focus -- we are talking about baseball right now...

Here's one that I love... "never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game" This is a perfect view on life - forget baseball. We all have these ups and downs in life. We all fear we will strike out with love, a job, weight loss, whatever your "thing" may be. But if we always fear that, then we will never play the game to our best ability. We will never lose the weight we want to lose, we will never fall in love because we will always be thinking about the worst (the strike out).

Another one I found was "a word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success" -- how powerful is that? If at every time in your life someone came up to you during each failure point and said ONE thing of encouragement to you -- would that not make your life a little easier? Instead, most people wait until you finally did something right and they start telling you how amazing you are and "praising" your change in life (whatever it may be). Oh...wait. People DO offer us encouragement during failures...and 9 times out of 10, we ignore them. Here's something we can learn from this -- when you fail, and someone tells you something encouraging -- listen to them. If an 11 year old can listen to their coach and go back on the field and win a game...why can't we win at life? Really though...it is that simple, if we make it that simple.

Here's another great one - "The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination" -- well that hits the nail on the head. I've been fighting with myself on getting to my goal weight. The only reason I am fighting with myself though, is because of my determination. It is not impossible to reach 150lbs...but if I am not putting my all into it and I'm not determined to do it, and I just keep saying I'm going to do it -- it's never going to be possible. See...again, simple.

I got on the scale yesterday for the first time in like two months...wow. Why is it that putting weight ON takes about a day and taking it off takes about a year? Wake up call for me...I've gained, and not just a little. I was down to 177lbs at my lowest (which was like January-ish). Currently... 190lbs. Time to get that determination factor turned back up and make the possible happen. Back to 40lbs away from my goal...but it's ok. I CAN DO IT!

Here goes nothing...

~Melissa
Current: 190lbs
Goal: 150lbs

Auntie "Issy"

As I mentioned Friday, I was going to Massachusetts for Easter weekend to see my family, especially my little nephew Scott! I had a blast. I hadn't seen my nephew since Christmas...wow, does time fly and do they change so much in such a short time period! 

Saturday was spent with Scott adjusting to who I was. Not going to lie, it made me sad at first. Especially because I know what a great relationship Scott has with my other sisters that live down there and see him much more. It's hard being 3.5 hrs away, especially while they are this little and they still haven't figured out who you are. However, by the end of the day, Auntie "Issy" was created. Once that was a hit, things were good -- I got hugs and kisses and we played together.

Sunday we tried out the toys that Santa...I mean the Easter Bunny left for him (ie: the grandparents), decorated some cupcakes, and just vegged out. We even had a #selfie session! I was sad to leave, especially since it could be another 4 months before I see him again (it won't be, I won't let that happen), but I don't see him as much as I wish I could. I'll just have to start sending him mail every week with a picture of Auntie "Issy" so he remembers me -- I'm sure my brother would LOVE that. LOL. 

All in all, Easter was great. I got to see my nephew, my siblings, my parents, and last but not least my brother from another mother Pat Chung (yes, that one). I also ate...and ate, and ate until my pants didn't fit. Which really means, it was an AWESOME weekend! 

~Melissa

Current: Happy :)

Goal: 150-155lbs

No One Died!

So, I stepped out of my comfort zone of spaghetti, chicken stir-fry, shepherds pie, and mac-n-cheese (box mind you) last night..and made this amazing Baked Chicken and Rice with Black Beans dish. Now, I'll admit - it isn't the healthiest meal ever - but you could always tweek it to be a little "better" for you (or maybe not). Either way...it was SO GOOD! The next time I make it I want to try to spice it up a little: use spanish rice instead of yellow rice, add some jalapenos...yum! 

Now for some this may not seem like a big deal - wow Melissa cooked dinner - but that means you don't know me! I'm not exactly Betty Crocker, or Susie Homemaker...seriously I can burn water. So, this post is me bragging and you have to deal with that. I'm also sharing the recipe because it was so good -- I mean even the boyfriend ate it, and not just because he had too -- he went back and was eating out of the pan, so I know that means he liked it (hehe). 

• 
  
• Ingredients: 
• 1 (10-oz.) package yellow rice mix
• 1 cup chopped onion
• 1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper
• 1/2 cup chopped carrot
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 2 cups cubed cooked chicken
• 1 (15-oz.) can black beans, drained
• 1 (10-oz.) can diced tomatoes and green chiles, undrained
• 2 cups (8 oz.) grated Monterey Jack cheese

1. Preparation: 
2. 1. Preheat oven to 350°. Prepare rice according to package directions.
3. 2. Meanwhile, sauté onion, bell pepper, and carrot in hot oil in a medium skillet over medium heat 10 minutes or until tender.
4. 3. Combine hot cooked rice, onion mixture, chicken, beans, diced tomatoes and chiles, and 1 1/2 cups cheese in a large bowl. Spoon into a lightly greased 3-qt. or 13- x 9-inch baking dish; sprinkle with remaining 1/2 cup cheese.
5. 4. Bake, covered, at 350° for 30 minutes; uncover and bake 10 minutes or until cheese is melted.

Voila -- there you have it. Now, it might not "look" beautiful -- but it tasted amazing. It easily feeds 6 people (unless you are feeding lumber jacks, then you may need to cook more). 

Now to top off this night the boyfriend washed dishes. No no... this is bigger than me cooking something new. His own daughter and roommate had to double take what was going on when they saw the facebook photos. He's kind of amazing...almost as amazing as my chicken, black bean, and rice! 

I'm off to Massachusetts this weekend to see my family for Easter and love on my adorable little nephew. I'll be back Monday with a re-cap of the weekend I'm sure. I hope everyone has a happy and safe holiday weekend...and it's Easter -- eat lots of chocolate, peeps, and jelly beans -- the gym will be there Monday morning for you! 

~Melissa

Current: Who Knows!

Goal: 150-155lbs 

9 Things I Suck At

Today I was thinking about things I suck at. Random right? No, it was brought on by something, but none the less, I started compiling a list:

1. Staying on top of this blog - I have clearly failed miserably at this. I told myself 2014 was the year of DO -- and while I have been doing many other things that are productive and great, following up with my blog daily (or even weekly) is not one of them. I really need to spend time each week for "ME" and when I have this me time write at least one or two blogs for the week. I'm sorry to my blog fans that I have let you down. I'm sorry I let myself down too. Kinda sucks giving yourself and goal and failing... which brings me to number 2. 
2. Staying on a "lifestyle" change - I had a 40 Day Challenge to lose 12lbs (yea, failed beyond fail on this one). I was doing well, having my shakes, eating right...then, life happened. I just stopped. Not going to beat myself up, because it's not like I've just been sitting on my butt doing nothing. I'm non-stop with life and working...but still need to get back to doing!
3. Going to the gym - My motto of do not try, is not happening right now. But it's April -- which means I still have 8 months to get back to DOING! Starting last night... Jillian Michaels kicked my BUTT in some lower kickboxing and ab workouts. PHEW -- forgot what a good workout felt like! 
4. Driving (I don't think so, but others do) - I may have road rage. I may not. Depends on who you are in the car with me. I may dance, sing, put makeup on, talk on my phone...things you shouldn't do when you are driving. But let's just note (knock on wood) I have never been in an accident or gotten a ticket... so if you don't like my driving stay outta my car or outta my way! 
   
5. Trusting people - I try. I try so hard. This is a blog all its own really. But short version. I have been lied to, cheated on, pushed aside, etc...and the people in my life that I have trusted the most or should be able to trust the most have always seemed to fail me. So, yes, trusting is a challenge for me and I suck at it. I'm a work in progress...
6. Saying "No" - I'm sorry, what? What is this word you speak of? Never heard of it. In all reality though, for a woman as independent and stubborn as I am, when it comes to family, friends, and work - saying NO just isn't in my vocabulary. Sometimes that's ok, but usually, I'm just being overly nice and walked all over. Eh, who needs a backbone?
7. Finances - I'm getting better. But I LOVE shopping. I have a problem with this "saving" thing. I really need to be that girl that puts a budget together (excel sheet and all) -- and follows it, but no promises on this one. 
8. Scheduling my time - Working three jobs (ok kinda like 5 right now) it's hard to put your life together. I recently bought a scheduler / planner / calendar thing -- it's helping a little. But I still think I need an assistant. OR a thought -- I need to quit a couple of my jobs. 
9. Keeping in touch with Family & Friends - So between the 3 jobs, life, and all that comes with it. I really suck at keeping in touch with everyone. Friends from high school, college, after college -- unless you are in my "immediate" circle, I probably don't keep in touch enough. So for that I'm sorry -- I do facebook stalk you though, because you are in my thoughts! Family near or far. I feel like I need to schedule phone time within my new planner. I try...but being the year of DO -- I'm failing and I'm sorry. Road trips are beginning to make their way to the planner / calendar -- I'll be visiting more in 2014.  However - to both family and friends please feel free to call / text / facebook me too -- because sometimes my life just gets so busy I zone out on days of weeks, months, etc... seriously I had no idea it was April 17th already. When you have no days off -- you kind of just "go" and once in a while pick your head up and say "holy crap where'd the month go." 

That's all for today. I'm getting back to the gym, writing my blog, and staying in touch. With that -- if you want to schedule a lunch or dinner date let me know or if you want to go to the gym with me I have a black card to Planet Fitness...or phone time -- I can pencil you in!!

~Melissa 

NO IDEA how much I weigh right now

Goal: 150-155lbs

40 Day Challenge

So Lent started Wednesday, and before it began I kept thinking about what to "give up" during the 40 days. Many of you are probably like "what? Lent? Melissa" -- it's true. I may not go to church every week, but I have a faith and while I don't practice or believe in everything the bible says, I try to do what I can -- makes me feel good -- we all have our vices (anyways -- this is not a blog about religion).

I get a message from a friend -- let's challenge ourselves to lose x amount of weight by April 20th (when Lent ends). The winner gets free dinner paid by the loser! SCORE -- done. So for Lent I decided to give up coffee (yes again, I started drinking it when I got back from Aruba - and I can feel the "yuckiness" it's doing to me - weird right?), ice cream, AND a goal of 12lbs from March 5th until April 20th...easy peasy right? Wish me luck!

Now that I have this challenge happening, I had to weigh myself to get a start weight -- now mind you before I left for Aruba it was 180lbs(ish). Ya...about that...188lbs - WTH!!! Why is it that it takes months, years to lose it, but takes DAYS to gain it back, so discouraging, but - year of DO not try. Just got to pick myself up and get back at it!

Because I was getting a little down on my gain, I needed to remind myself where I have come from to where I am today. So I created a before and after and shared it with everyone on facebook, now I am sharing it with you. Even in 2009 - I don't believe this was my heaviest. To share -- I was about 240lbs the summer before my senior year of college (2003). Until last year I ranged from a size 16-20 (which was like 200-220lbs). So...while I may get down on the bumps I have throughout this process, I just have to remember where I started.

That's it today. Short & Sweet. Till next time...

~Melissa
Current: 188lbs
Goal for 4/20: 176lbs
Goal for 2014: 150lbs