Humility vs Pride

I just want to send a huge thank you to all of you that are reading my blog and especially those that read my Bucket List blog and offered to assist me in achieving some of my goals. 


If anyone knows me, they know I am stubborn. I prefer the term independent, but toma'to - tomah'to - right? I don't ask for help...and if / when I do, it means that things are beyond bad and out of my control (and lets be honest, even then...I don't usually ask). The problem with this? I have no humility. I have too much pride to admit when I am in need of help. Instead, I just pretend everything is OK, To some that may seem like I think I am better than everyone else... to me it means I'm to ashamed to admit I did wrong. 

Here's where I'll start sharing my journey called life. I spent the last year and a half of my life hiding from my family and friends. My pride was too high to realize that I was in trouble, I didn't want to see it or hear it from anyone. To the point where I honestly thought that my life was amazing. I thought I had found someone who loved me more than any other person had before him. I believed all his tales of why this job didn't hold up or that job, or why there was money missing or belongings from the house. It was never him that was the problem, it was always someone else, or something else -- and I believed every word. 

However, towards the last few months of our relationship, I started opening my eyes and thinking about things. Why this happened, or how that situation occurred. Still keeping it to myself, and not sharing with those that loved me (or who knew what was going on and didn't say anything). It wasn't until the last few weeks when everything started to get out of control. I won't go into details (I'll wait for my book), but let's just say I wouldn't put my worst enemy in my situation. Things were said and done that will forever remain in my head and heart. It wasn't until those last few weeks when I put my pride away and said, "enough." It wasn't until I had to call my mother and father and tell them what was going on that my pride - the thing I held on to so dearly, was officially gone. 

These last few months have not been easy. But they have showed me who is really here for me. They have also showed me that it's OK to have humility. In fact, life is better with it. While this chapter of my life is far from over, as relationships and situations like these don't just go away (if only it were that easy). I am now handling this situation in the manner I should have before. I am talking to my family more, I am being humble, I am not trying to act like I can do this all by myself...because I can't. 

The amount of love I received from my Bucket List made me realize that I do have people in my life more than I realized, that are here to help me. I know my family is always there for me, they always have been... but to see friends come out and say "I can help you with this" -- is an eye opener. An eye opener that has come at a perfect time... 2014. 

Signing off to hit the gym...official weigh in tonight for 2014. 

~Melissa 
Goal: 150lbs